Introducing Blueberry Bud

Hey there!

I am Blueberry Bud. Mr. Blueberry Bud and I were married in October 2009. Six weeks later our TTC journey began. We were pretty aggressive in our efforts from the get-go and began charting right away. I am a scientist and he is a physician so we both had a strong desire to know exactly what was going on with my body so that we could time things just right (I hope you can tell that we are both die-hard romantics!).

I am an extremely anxious person with a great imagination, so from the beginning of our TTC adventure I managed to string together all sorts of horrendous what-if scenarios all of course culminating in me doomed to a life of barrenness surrounded by many furry feline friends. However, the more rational side of me didn't really think we would have much of a problem getting pregnant -- I always had normal cycles, I had only been on BCP a few months, and I had no gynecological history or family history of problems.

After a few months it was clear that I was ovulating predictably, that we were generally timing things well, and that I had a good LP. We added green tea, pre-seed, all the usual stuff and this helped us feel more in control and like we were doing things that could enhance the effort. By Cycle 7, I turned to acupuncture and yoga. I am still always looking for things to add to our TTC routine, if only to create the illusion that we have some degree of control.

By Cycle 5 we started to get impatient...our timing was awesome, my cycles were normal, I was definitely Oing, and nothing was happening. By Cycle 6 we decided to begin some initial fertility testing to rule out an obvious problem. Our thinking was that we didn't want to waste time if there was something clearly wrong and easily diagnosable going on. We did a S/A (Mr. Blueberry Bud appears to NOT be the problem), CD3 bloodwork, and a baseline ultrasound. So far, all our results have been normal.

On Cycle 7 we started doing follicle monitoring with TI. Our doctor apparently doesn't think charting is so accurate and he wanted us to try a couple unmedicated monitored cycles with TI. Cycle 7 was a bust even with 6 days of consecutive BDing up to and including day of O. Originally we were going to continue with the follicle monitoring and TI for Cycle 8, but when our doctor learned that the following cycle we would be in different countries during the week I will likely O, he recommended that we try our first IUI this cycle. So here we are --ready to try something new and praying that it will be our lucky break.

Psychologically and emotionally, TTC has been one of the toughest experiences I've faced so far (maybe this says a lot about how blessed I've been in my life). It is so hard trying to feel positive and hopeful every cycle only to be crushed when you find out that once again you aren't pregnant. It gets harder to believe that any one given cycle will be different from the stack of failures behind you. I am so happy to have Mr. Blueberry Bud by my side.

Sometimes when I am feeling really blue about TTC, I feel ridiculous for allowing myself to feel that way when we haven't been trying THAT long. I do believe, cat lady daydreams not withstanding, that some day I will be a mom, I just don't know how soon and how long the road to get there will be. I look forward to sharing the ups & downs of our continuing journey with you!