Then I catch myself. Because I thought that last time too.
It's so weird. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel - but even though I'm gearing up for IVF #2, I still find myself just in this purgatory between IVF failure and IVF possibility.
It's even harder now knowing that this is all my fault. I can't blame the sperm anymore. We bypass the sperm problem by doing the IVF with ICSI. If the IVF fails, i have no one to blame but my shitty eggs. That's a tough pill to swallow.
And to add insult to injury, i'm just going to bitch about the BCPs, AKA devil pills, for a minute. I've been on them for 5 weeks, and I have 2 1/2 more to go. Last week I started spotting, and this week, i'm full on bleeding. Bright red, clots, fun fun fun. It's not heavy - but I have to use a tampon. It was too heavy for a liner. My nurse says it's okay - just keep taking the active pills.
Great - i'm doing IVF, I have shitty eggs, I have to be on BCPs for almost 2 1/2 months and i get to bleed for 4 weeks.
Ain't life grand?
I can't even begin to say I know how you feel because I don't, but I say feel free to be pissed off because you deserve to feel that way. I hope the next IVF is successful.
ReplyDeletethank you for always being so supportive of me!
ReplyDeleteDandelion, Thanks for visiting my blog and the words of encouragement!
ReplyDeleteI didn't test my AMH, but I did have my FSH tested and it was 6.8 one time and 7.9 another time. I also did the clomid challenge test and on CD10, my FSH was borderline at 9.8 (although on CD 3) it had been 6.8. So, my doc isn't 100% sure whether I have egg quality/quantity issues or not. But, I think he's erring on the side of caution and therefore, put my on the antagonist protocol.
OH! And I wanted to ask...are you in the bay area? I'm wondering, b/c we were also going to go with a Dr. Z from Foster City!