Going Back to Work After Baby

Oh how I dream of being a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM)... and then, I wake up.

I dream about all the things I could do if I were a SAHM:

• I'd have dinner made every night when Mr GB got home from his long days of work - plus I'd have more time to plan out and try new things in the kitchen!
• I'd be with my first child through every milestone, boo boo and story time!
  
• I'd have time to catch up on the 3+ years of scrapbooking I've officially lost track of - plus all the pages I'd be able to complete of Baby GB.
• I'd be able to make those mid day Mommy & Me classes at my gym.
• The house would always be clean.
• Can you say play dates???
  
• This list is endless...
  

The reality is that there's no way financially we could make it work on one income without cutting back DRASTICALLY. Even then, I'm not sure it'd be worth it because while groceries and cleaning supplies wouldn't be a major cutback; the scrapbook supplies to catch up, the gym membership with my mommy and me classes well, they'd be the first to go. Along with my internet and cable TV probably. Also, Mr GB's job doesn't offer health benefits so without my job - we are S.O.L.

Boo... tear...

We have no family to help in the town we live in and the only things that are going to help us out so that we don't have to put Baby GB in full time day care are that Mr GB will always have a weekday off and that our neighbor (retired military couple with 3 grown kids of their own) are actually begging to watch him. They actually have offered to be our day care but I just have a really hard time putting that on someone full time.

My boss has been asking me since the moment I announced my pregnancy if I'm coming back to work. I guess the last pregnant girl said she was coming back but left for maternity leave and we never saw her again - so I don't blame her for asking so soon. So I've been weighing my options for weeks now. I had a sit down with her and told her that yes - financially I have to come back but asked about my options about only coming back part-time.

Now, first off - to keep my health benefits I have to work at least 20 hours per week. So from what she tells me I have 3 options:

1. Keep my 40 hour a week job. Here we opt for day care at least 3 full days a week - with Mr GB watching him one day and our neighbors watching him another day.
   
2. Keep my position and go down to 30 hours a week (as long as I keep a set schedule). With this option there is also the possibility of going back up to 40 hours a week if we decide we want to. Mr GB and our neighbors would still each take one full day while I'm working then we could do 3 part time day care days.
   
3. Go down to 20 hours a week - no more/no less for the foreseeable future. And I'll have to make a lateral switch to another department along with switching managers. I think with this option I'd still be able to work one full day with Mr GB watching him and then split up a few short days where our neighbors would take him. No day care... so that's a plus!?
   

I'm so torn - there is so much more to say about each option that this post would be a mile long but that's the gist of each. Someone gives me a pro, I give them a con. All I know is that with any option there are still going to be huge sacrifices in our budget, that's inevitable.