January 27, 2010

Feeling strangely calm this 2WW

I really thought I would be a mess right now, stressing and feeling anxious about our first IUI 2WW. But honestly I am feeling pretty good. I don't have any inclination one way or the other if the IUI worked or not, but I know that we are doing all that we can and if it doesn't happen this month we will figure out our new plan and move on. That is a pretty big deal for me to feel so calm!

Our IUI on Sunday was very uneventful. We were up really early to be at the RE's office at 7:30 for Mr. CB to do his thing. I had a sono that showed my lining went up to 7.05...not great, but better than it has been. Then came the waiting game. My appointment was for 9 am, but we didn't end up getting called back until about 10. I was surprised that it wasn't a doctor that did the procedure, but a nurse. She was very sweet, and talked us through the entire thing. She did have some problems getting the catheter in and had to use some kind of other tool but it found it's way eventually. I had a little bit of discomfort but nothing too bad. Mr. CB held my hand and when it was over and the nurse had left, he kissed my belly and we said a little prayer that this will be our month.
On Monday, I had an appointment with a therapist to talk about all my emotions that I am feeling as I deal with infertility. I have an EAP program through work that is free, and since we are spending so much money on my treatments, I wanted to try to use it to save some money. They sent me a big list and I basically just had to pick someone out and hope for the best. They didn't have any providers that specialize in IF, so they gave me family counselors. I went in to the appointment hoping that she would help me deal with some of my crazy feelings, but when she told me to wear a rubber band and snap my wrist each time I thought about getting pregnant so I could "refocus" my thoughts, I knew this was going to be an unsuccessful visit!

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I am going to try to find a support group or counselor through my RE's office or some websites friends have shared. I know now that it's really important to find someone who has experience dealing with an IF patient.

2 comments:

  1. Oh chef bud, im crying after reading your prayer. I hope this is your first and only IUI.

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  2. I'm so happy you are having a calm 2ww! GL to you CB, I am praying for you guys every night!

    As far as the counselor - yeah she sounds like a nut! Try the RESOLVE website & see if you can find a counselor that takes your insurance (I did!) or a support group in your area. I guarantee you - talking to people who have IF experience WILL make you feel at least a little better!

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