Hi!!!

Hi . . . I’m Book Bud! I'm 27, Mr. Book Bud is 31. We've been married for 4 years. Mr. Book Bud is in finance and really wanted to be sure we had some financial stability before we started TTC. Although my body was telling me something different, my brain was telling me he was right.





I've had problems the past year with ovarian cysts. My doctor says that this shouldn't cause problems TTC, but, we have yet to get pregnant so I'm skeptical. I had it drained back in September, then was put on BCP to keep it at bay. I was first on Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo, then, it filled back up by the end of December. We were monitoring it with ultrasound, and, he put me on a higher hormone pill. The cyst was continuing to grow, instead of shrink, so I had to have surgery to have it removed. He did that in March without damaging my ovary (thank God!) and told me I'd be fine by May to start TTC (which was when we were thinking because we had a trip to Germany planned and wanted to wait until after that).



I took my last pack of birth control while we were on the trip. My first cycle TTC was a bit of a nightmare. I had a really long cycle and kept getting BFNs. I then had some cramping and spotting around CD 40 so decided to test again. I got a BFP! I scheduled an appt. right away because of the cramping and spotting, and the history of cysts. He got me right in that Monday and did bloodwork. Of course I didn't stop peeing on sticks and my BFP started to disappear. I freaked out Tuesday thinking I imagined it . . . then started reading peeonastick.com and was convinced it was an evaporation line. Wednesday, I woke up with AF. I spent the whole day calling the office trying to get the results of the blood work because I wanted to figure out what happened. My beta level was 8.6, so, it was a chemical pregnancy. They did repeat blood work and it went back to normal. I was definitely disappointed that this happened, but, I knew it was unlikely that I would get pregnant in the first cycle anyway. Also, because I ended up getting so confused (thank you peeonastick.com!) I had talked myself into thinking I’d imagined the BFP from the beginning – that it was a mistake all along. When I got AF and the news that it was a CP – I had an easier time moving on because I hadn’t had enough time to really get excited and feel pregnant. So, you could really say it was gone before it even started.



My cycles since then haven’t really stabilized. I'm on cycle #4 but month #5. I'm not doing charting or using OPKs. DH wants us to remain "casual" for right now. I tend to go a bit batty near the expected end of my cycle because I want to know what's going on. Our philosophies on this differ for right now. If I don't have any luck this cycle I'm going to talk to him about it again and see. I think I might want to start charting.



I also have another cyst. The doctor said this time it is "simple" - which I take to mean there was something weird about the last one I had. He told me TTC will help, so, I'm just doing what I was doing before. I have pain sometimes which sucks, but, I'm hanging in there. I have a repeat ultrasound scheduled for October 15th so we'll see what's going on at that point. My goals are to start communicating better with my doctor. I find he goes too fast and doesn't always fully inform me. I need to prepare myself before each appointment and make sure I get all my questions answered. I'm on CD 19 right now, so, my goal with that is to remain calm for the rest of my cycle, BD every other day, and hope for the best. I'm going to try not to pee on any sticks until CD 29 which is how long my shortest cycle was. I will most likely fail at this . . . I can’t resist peeing on a perfectly good stick any chance I get.

So . . . that's it. I continue to try to be patient while we wait for our time to come. Some days it’s easy and I feel great. Other days, I want to rip my hair out. Today is a good day. I will let you know how tomorrow goes . . .

Thanks for reading!!