Two lines.

I never, in my life, thought I would see two lines on a pregnancy test.  I thought it wasn't in the cards for me.  We never took a HPT when we did our fresh IVF cycle last fall.  I knew there was a risk of getting a false positive, so we waited for my beta.

This time, though.  I couldn't wait.  I took my first HPT on Friday, April 27th as soon as I woke up.  I didn't even tell Mr. Bossy I was going to do it.  Like I said-  I'm a chicken.  This is what I saw.

I couldn't believe my eyes.  I began shaking and before I knew it, I was sobbing. I scared Mr. Bossy half to death when I stood next to the shower holding out my positive pregnancy test.  He thought something was wrong.  Boy, was he ever wrong.

We spent the weekend doing fun activities; all the while knowing that my beta was on Monday. We kept our secret under wraps.  We didn't want to spill the beans before family knew, and we had also decided that we would not share our good news with as many people this time.  Just to be on the safe side.

I bought picture frames and typed up this little poem to put inside:

Next January-
In this place
You can a picture
of your
grandchild's face!

We presented my mother with hers on Saturday night (my dad was already in bed due to working early the next morning).  She knew my beta was on Monday, but I wanted to surprise her in a fun way.  She didn't even have the wrapping paper completely off before a smile spread across her face.  She was totally shocked!  I put the frame next to my dad's sink so that he would see it first thing in the morning when he woke to shower and brush his teeth.

We gave Mr. Bossy's mom her frame on Sunday when she stopped by to visit.  Her reaction was-  What does this mean?  I politely told her to infer (she can act really stupid at times), and she was able to figure it out.

I decided to take my second HPT this morning before I left for my RE's office.  Even after Friday's positive result, I was still scared to death.  I kept telling myself over the weekend that maybe that stick was telling a lie!

This is what I saw:

The vertical positive line had gotten darker!!! 

My nurse notified me earlier today that my beta is 319.  I return on Wednesday for my second one.  We're being cautiously optimistic.  We sure hope this little one sticks around for the next 9 months!

Please pray for a good, strong number on Wednesday. :)

Bossy Bud

14 weeks!!! :)

I officially passed the 14 week mark on Saturday, and am now in the 2nd Trimester! Mr. DBud and I are SUPER happy to have made it this far, and can't wait for what's to come!

Luckily, the MS has let up, and seemed like it was just a temporary thing. I actually started to think that it could've been a slight virus. In this area, "something" has been going around... And since I work with a lot of teachers and lots of students (I work at an extremely large school) I was bound to catch something. As you may know, I had that terrible cold, followed by pink eye. I've never had "morning sickness" before, so I am not really sure what to expect or how to really differentiate between MS and a mild stomach virus, but what I do know is that my stomach felt weak, sometimes to a point that all I could eat and drink were saltine crackers and sprite. Eating small, bland, meals more often helped a lot. I have been sticking to sprite, which has continued to help keep the nausea away.

Other than that, I still feel tired and drained. The weather this week is extremely gloomy and rainy, perfect for cuddling up in bed all day. It has been like this for the past two days, and threatens to remain this way through the rest of the week. I am hoping that it clears up a bit... But it doesn't look too hopeful :-/

We started a registry with Buy Buy Baby, adding gender neutral items that we will need. I even picked out "boy" bedding and "girl" bedding, until we find out what we are having. We can't wait to find out!!!! I am considering one of those 3D ultrasounds to determine gender. I have to pay for it out of pocket, but we are willing to do that :) Definitely entertaining the idea ;)

Anyway, we have our next OB appointment tomorrow. Hopefully we will be able to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler. I am also hoping that the weight gain won't be too excessive. Starting off the pregnancy overweight is bad enough, so I am constantly thinking about my weight gain throughout the pregnancy.

Speaking of which... I have one more thing to discuss before I wrap up this post, and that is unsolicited advice. I don't know where people get off thinking that their advice is welcomed and appreciated. I feel like wearing a t-shirt that says "Yes, I'm pregnant... No, I don't want your advice". Granted, there are some people who's advice I love and appreciate... But there are some people who who need to keep it to themselves. I don't know how many times I've already heard the whole "make sure you're eating right" speech. No... Really... I am going to eat only junk and greasy foods. I don't know if it's the hormones getting the best of me, and making me a little more cranky that usual... But I am already getting tired of the unwanted advice. Yes, I am aware that I am overweight, but I didn't get like this only because of my eating habits. PCOS is also to blame... But it's hard for some people to understand that. Oh well!

Anyway... Thanks for reading :) Until next time!




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34 Weeks

I am 34 weeks today. Things are pretty good. I not feeling great today, but overall everything is good. I saw my midwife today. Our baby is posterior which means she is facing forward towards my belly button, and the ideal position is to be facing my spine. It isn't a huge deal. I am a little nervous because if she doesn't turn then I will probably have a very long labor. Hopefully our baby will turn before it is a problem. I am still working on a bunch of projects, but feeling wiped out and am ready to be done with it all. I was working on a crib bumper for my friend today and made a million mistakes. It was so frustrating. I stayed up late in order to have some success with it after all of my mistakes.
I found out that the friend that I mentioned before who also did embryo adoption is pregnant with twins! I am so happy for her!

34 Weeks

Other Options

After watching Guiliana & Bill, the idea of using a Gestational Carrier is of interest if this next round of IVF doesn't take. I have a few friends that have offered to be a Gestational Carrier but when they are done with having kids. Both have one or two more kids before they would be ready. I then have a SIL that is done having kids, she had two healthy pregnancies, easy deliveries and is in good health. I am thinking of asking her and my brother if they would be interested in being a Gestational Carrier for me if this next round doesn't work.

I have also started looking into the various adoption options. Mr. Explorer Bud is open to looking into the process now and the other options. So that pretty much opens the flood gates of my researching craze that I oh so love. I am going to call and get appointments for the two agencies in my area and then go and talk to two attorneys that deal with private adoptions. That way we will have all our other options explored so we will be able to make an educated decision on what to do if and when we decide to stop doing IVF. I feel much calmer when I have all my ducks in a row!

MS starting at 13 weeks?!

I am so confused (not to mention exhausted). Everywhere I turn, I read about how Morning Sickness is a 1st trimester thing, which begins to improve at about 14 weeks. Therefore, I have been very surprised to have MS begin while I'm in my 13th week... And it has only gotten worse as the week has gone by. It's so strange to me! Beginning with my little episode on Monday (which I mentioned in my previous post), it has continued and increased as the week went on. Yesterday, it even began with heartburn. It's so annoying!

I am wondering how common it is to develop MS at this point, whether or not I should be concerned, and if there is anything I can do to make things better, even if just a little better.

At the end of the day, I will take all the symptoms gladly! In the end it will pay off... But sometimes we forget when we are slumped over our thrones, tossing cookies ;)





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The itch.

Today is 7dp5dt, and I'm itching to take a HPT.  I know, I know.  It's still too early.  I've done ALL of the reading online.  Most sites say 9dpt is long enough to detect HCG, but I frequent the infertility board on thebump and a woman got a BFP on 6dp5dt.  I'm losing my mind.

I have two tests waiting for me underneath the bathroom sink.  They are literally calling my name.  We didn't do a HPT with our fresh cycle last fall because my trigger (lupron) contained HCG and could give me a false positive.  Also, I was too chicken.  This time, though, it was a FET, so my RE said I could test before my beta.  I just don't know.  I keep preparing myself for a negative, but I'm still praying for a positive.

I've also been comparing this cycle to the last one.  I did have cramping during our fresh cycle.  In fact, I remember crying in our bed while Mr. Bossy held me.  I was convinced it hadn't worked and the cramps were AF.  I was obviously wrong.

I have had some mild cramping here and there, but nothing like last time.  I have to continuously reassure myself that it doesn't mean it didn't work.

Do I hold out until Monday for my beta, or do I take a HPT beforehand?

Hi-  My name is Bossy Bud and I'm scared sh*tless.

 

                Bossy Bud

Second Acupuncturist

Last week Mr. EB and I went off to the second Acupuncturist that is about 30 minutes away. I got his name from another RE's website and figured he may be more familiar with the IVF process in conjunction with Acupuncture. He is deaf in both ears to some degree and therefore has a very strong deaf accent which makes it hard to understand him at times. Mr. EB was frustrated that he was difficult to understand and that we are running into a similar problem with the previous Acupuncturist and not understanding them well. Unfortunately there just isn't a large selection of Acupuncturists in our area so we have slim pickings. When we arrived we got to fill out another "Symptoms" packet with a lot of questions about every aspect of your body and it functions, even bodily functions!! Nice huh?! Then he had us come back and looked over our packets and talked with each of us about what we had put down to get a better understanding of them. I explained our main goal was to work on getting both MR. EB and I balanced and healthy for our next IVF cycle and we would want to do Acupuncture in conjunction with IVF. He then took our various organ pulses and checked our tongues. I am more Yin or cold and Mr. EB is more Yang or hot. He joked we complete one another!! So funny!! So I went first and he felt along my meridian lines for tender areas and placed about 6 needles in my right ankle and lower leg. Then stuck one in my left shin area, that area always feels like energy is flowing down to my toes, kind of a weird sensation. He then put a couple in both hands and in my right arm. These all correlate with my spleen, kidney's and some other organ that all contribute to hormone's that affect your body's fertility. I then get to lay there carefully laying as to not smoosh the needles and take a little siesta under the heat lamp. He came in twice to wiggle my needles and to check how I was feeling. I did like that every time he came in he would ask if I had any questions for him. He may do that because I told him I was shopping around for Acupuncturists so he is being extra attentive. After about 45 minutes he came in and pulled the needles out and had me get up slowly and then talked about wanting to put Mr. EB on some Herbs. We had talked about maybe doing Herbs for me as well but he decided against it because of all the other stuff I am taking and not wanting it to conflict. After the first appointment I was more confused whom I should go with because neither Acupuncturist put the needles in the same place and the exam was different as well. I was hoping they would be similar and I could just pick which one I liked their personality the most. So I don't know if we will keep going to this guy or the one closer to us I am still in limbo.

13w2d!!! <3

Hello! Hope everyone had a great weekend. Ours was busy, but nice. :)
With the end of the weekend not only came the start of a new week, but another appointment at the perinatal center for our integrated screening. We arrived at the office a little before 9, and were seen by 9:30. The moment the tech placed the wand on my belly, there it was again... Our LO
He/she behaved better this time... Allowing the tech to measure the heart beat easily (which was at a strong 156). He was also able to measure our sweety from crown to rump, and we found that he/she is measuring about 2 days ahead :) After that, our LO had enough and decided to turn over again. Needless to say, nothing else could be done after that.
Since this was for the integrated screening, they had me speak to the Doctor about our options. He explained that due to my age (and even more so because we don't have a family history) I have a 1 in 700 chance of having a baby with downs. So for every 10 out of 7000, the test they were doing (ultrasound blood test combo) reveals 9 of the 10 cases. Blood test only reveals 8 out of 10 cases. Because we are already so close to 14 weeks, we opted to just have the blood test done. The Doctor explained that since the chances are so low, he was not concerned, and felt that everything would be fine. I need to return on May 16th for some more blood work, followed by another ultrasound on May 30th. Hopefully at that appointment, we'll be able to find out the sex of the baby :) We really would love to know already!!! I even researched local 3D ultrasound places that will tell you the gender at 16 weeks or after... I'm considering it ;) Here is a picture of our LO...





Anyway, I though I would end this post with a story about something that happened to me today. Sorry if it's TMI, but these are just some of the things that happen to pregnant women. Anyway, I was lucky enough to catch pink eye last week, landing me in workers comp (since it's a contagious disease, and I work with kids). I needed to visit the clinic for the last time today to get officially discharged, so I did. Before I left, I was feeling a bit queasy, so I threw up a bit... No biggie, I felt fine. When I was at the clinic, and talking to the Doc, I started feeling funky again. I threw up a little before getting in the car again, and then got back in the car to head home, only 4 blocks away. I didn't make it. I literally threw up all over myself and inside my 3 1/2 month old car. So gross. I got home, cleaned off, and that was that. Feeling a bit funky still, but fine, I guess. Hopefully I won't continue to see episodes of MS anymore, or anytime soon...
That is all for now :)




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Cramps and a Bad Attitude

My temps have plumetted over the past 2 days. Not surprised tho. I knew my lack of symptoms were telling me the truth. I'm not sure why I was even disappointed on Saturday when I tested and got a BFN again. I should be used to the disappointment but it still put me in a crappy mood on Sunday. I spent the entire day cleaning just to try and keep my mind off of it. Lately, I find myself trying to do things to put my mind somewhere else. I'm so consumed with frustration and obsessed during the 2WW it's ALL I can think about. Work is boring so all I do is google this crap all day. (Not literally crap for all you sick minded like myself who are entertained by it) I've started trying to read more which has really seemed to help. Watching too much t.v. doesnt do the trick b/c after the show is over I realize I'm right back in my shitty situation again. I've gotten into baking/decorating cupckaes and of course have tried to stay busy with my other hobbies. Keeping my mind occupied has def started to help.

I have been talking to Mr.BB for those who are wondering. I'm still exceptionally frustrated with him though. I tried to talk to him last night but all he does is shut down when I try to talk about something serious. However, he did tell me that he thinks something is wrong with him and that he has has "pain" on one side of his you know what for the past couple of years. He seems to think they are "twisted." Why he hasn't gone to the doctor about this is beyond me. This could be our answer and he chooses to not care. Then he makes jokes that he has cancer and that he would rather not know if he is going to die from it. This man kills me. So, now I will have to begin a 6 month battle with him to try and talk him into going to the doctor.

I feel as if there is no point in TTC until this thing with his "boys" can be worked out. Maybe I will see what its like to not obsess for a month or two. I'm dealing with the most stubborn man in the Midwest so God only knows how long it will take him to go have this checked out. I'm going on vacation to Florida at the end of May so maybe I will try to enjoy those days by drowning in Bud Light while smoking a pack of Camels on the beach each day. Heck, I might even try Parasailing. Eff trying to protect my little ute for the next couple of months. I'm so sick and tired of being sad. I think if I were to get happy again I would be stuck so far in this depression that I wouldnt even be able to be happy again.

With that being said, you may not be hearing from me as much as you have lately. Of course I will post ANY updates as soon as they come. But I think I need a break. It's going to be difficult trying to not temp each morning. Hopefully I will be able to give myself a break......it's become an addiction.

So long for now.....

-Buckeye Bud

Ups and Downs

Things are going pretty well over here in SB Land. I had my weekly doctor's appointment (went from twice a week to once a week). My blood pressure was 118/62 and there was trace levels of protein in my urine. No swelling, no weird vision. I fully understand that this can take a turn at any time, but I am hoping with two good doctor's appointments under my belt, this is more of an indication that I can make it to 37 weeks. Dr. B even suggested that I can take my appointments to twice a month now. I declined simply because of the fact that I am a spaz.

Speaking of being a spaz......

I had my second growth ultrasound two Saturdays ago. Since the diagnosis, they want to make sure the baby is still growing and getting everything he needs. So I go about once every 4 weeks to go and get him checked out now. Dude, our baby is getting what he needs and plenty more of it where that came from. HE IS BIG! In the 81st percentile for his growth and at 31 weeks he was weighing in at about 4.5 lbs. No surprise really. Mr. SB was an 8 pounder and I was a 9 pounder so to think our baby was going to small was pretty much a figment of our imaginations.

Well, during this appointment, I noticed the tech taking extra pictures of the baby's head (which by the way is measuring 4 weeks ahead!!!!) and measuring it. This let me into hysterics because I was convinced she was doing all of these measurements because the baby is brain damaged. Rational and logic aside (umm, her job is to measure - that's pretty much what we went in for), I was prepared to take in the bad news at my doctor's appointment. Needless to say, everything was fine and I will just add that instance to the list of why I will be the craziest mother on earth (If you are a hypochondriac, just wait until you get knocked up - then you have two people to obsess about).

However, pre e has not come without a few bumps in the road. I was in the ER twice in past week.

The first time was for high blood pressure that would not go down. Mr. SB and I went out for lunch and I don't know how to explain it but I just felt...off. We were going to go and finish up some baby shopping after, but I asked him to take me home - I didn't feel well. Once I got home, I took my blood pressure. It was sky effin' high. So I put my feet up, drank some water, and tested again - still high. Repeated this one more time and then called my doctor's office. They told me to come in.

Once in triage, my blood pressure went down to safe levels and all of my blood work came back normal. I was sent home with another 24 hour urine test to do (I'm such a pro at this now). My levels came back slightly elevated from last time, but nothing to be concerned about.

The second trip was because I am a little crazy and thought my water broke. I'm going to go all TMI on you guys here and tell you that holy mother of cats do I have a ton of discharge in my third trimester. Needless to say, my water is still in tact, but that didn't stop them from keeping me in triage for FOUR HOURS because my blood pressure was high (umm no shit - I thought my water broke). But I guess it is best to be monitored, and after a few blood tests and other blood pressure readings, I was sent home again.

Tomorrow I will officially be 33 weeks (which marks 6 weeks since my diagnosis of pre e). One week away from our first goal of 34 weeks and I must admit, it feels pretty good to have made it this far. Let's just hope that my body can endure this for 4 more weeks. Every day I am considering a blessing.

I'm going to leave this post on a positive note and say that I also had my baby shower this month. It was so cute! My cousin did a baby bird theme for me. Here are some pics:

11 DPO

Here is last months chart. (March 2012)

Here is my current chart. (April 2012)

A fellow Bud told me that she likes to think that seeing anything different that what she is used to seeing could be a good sign. So I'm gonna try to stick to that. I had another small temperature rise today. Got a negative HPT though.

Anyways, TGIF!

-Buckeye Bud

10 DPO and I NEED A Punching Bag

My chart shows I'm still up there. I took a hpt yesterday like a dummy and of course I got a negative. I have had a lot of CCM the past few days. Mostly before noon each day. I might try and test tomorrow morning and if I get a negative I will just assume the worst. All times prior to this I have gotten positives by 11DPO. I know all are different so assuming isn't the smartest. AF is set to arrive on Monday which I really think is gonna happen no matter how hard I wish.

Another thing I wanna talk about but I am kind of hesistant. It's embarrassing and frustrating. Mr. BB is annoying the crap out of me. I am SO frustrated with him I just wanna smack him around and maybe knock some sense into him. Several months ago I told him that it would be a good option that if I wasnt KU by February that he should get tested. He agreed and said that I would need to be the one to deliver it back to their office if he could do it at home. I guess he is embarrassed by a little semen!

February rolls around and he said he wasnt gonna get tested until my PCOS meds actually got in my system. So he put it off another 2 months. Here it is 2 months later. Ive been asking him the past 2 weeks about getting tested and he keeps blowing me off. I called me RE's office and they told me that he has to get a scrip from his PCP and then just take it to my RE's lab next door. I relayed this info to him and he completely dismissed me. He refuses to call his doctor b/c he thinks they wont just write him a scrip without him coming in for an office visit. He just "assumes."

I come home last night and ask him if he called his doctor. This is what I get, "just drop it. I'm not talking about this now. If I was gonna do it, Im not gonna do it anytime soon."
I wanted to cry but I was too pissed!! I said back to him, "Do you have any idea how hopeless I am already and you saying no to this makes it 10x worse." I've reminded him of all the thousands of dollars I have spent already and how many times I've been stuck with needles, and poked where I dont wanna be poked. He didnt even seem to care and told me that I go to the doctors all the time. WTF does that mean? I told him I felt so alone with this issue and that I was the only one who really wanted this. He of course just said no and then continued watching stupid Pawn Stars on the tube.

I am livid. I ignored him the rest of the night and havn't talked to him today. I know it sounds immature but I am ready to proove my point. You dont help me, I dont help you. Feed yourself and do your own laundry. Buckeye Bud is about to make it nasty up in heah! I am tired of playing with this man. I've been dealing with this since 2010 and I'm so fed up with him and his pride. He's embarrassed to squirt it in the cup.....thats all it is. I cannot talk to or even try to rationalize with him right now. I might just have to bring out the tears if this approach doesn't work in a few days. Tears usually get his attention ;) He knows I mean business then.

Please tell me I'm not the only one with a man who has acted like this in regards to being tested! Any suggestions on how to get thru to him?!

-Buckeye Bud

33 Weeks

This week our baby should be around 4 lbs and 17 inches long. I had my midwife appointment last week and everything still seems to be going well. Her heartbeat was still around 155. I had a little trouble with dehydration this week and really need to stay on top of drinking enough. It is getting a little harder to be comfortable at night and I toss and turn a little, but I am still getting a pretty good nights sleep at this point. If I stand on my feet for a few hours at a time they hurt pretty bad. Still no swelling though which is good. My veins on my legs haven't gotten any worse, and actually have been looking a little better. I am still having braxton hicks contractions like crazy. We have one last Bradley childbirth class left to complete the 12 class course. I can't belive it is almost over! I have had a good time taking the class and am kinda sad to see it ending.
Mr Lucky Bud and I were talking last night about how hard it is to conceive of the fact that we will have a baby in about 7 weeks! It still all seems very surreal. We are just feeling very blessed and very grateful right now. I am so happy to see so much good news on the blog this week.

Feeling blessed <3

Well, here I am... Ready to give my update on today's ultrasound.

Mr. DBud and I met up at our house, a couple of blocks away from the perinatal center, and drove to the location together. We arrived, checked in, signed some paperwork about integrated screening, and waited. When we got inside, we dove right into the ultrasound portion of the test. The moment that the tech placed the want on my abdomen, there it was! Our baby :) Our little Miracle. I couldn't stop staring at the screen! What an amazing feeling! The baby wiggled and kicked and punched... He/she gave the tech a very hard time measuring the heartbeat, but he finally got it! It measured at 154 :) Excellent!

Then, the tech attempted to start the necessary measurements for the test... But Baby didn't think that was such a great idea ;) instead, they turned over, and stayed that way. There was nothing we could do to get him/her back on their back, or even upside down, for the measurements. After several tries, the tech decided to reschedule me for Monday, to which I agreed. The blood test will also happen that day.

Words cannot explain how happy we are :) the baby looked great, and put on a real show for us!

I'd like to introduce you to our Baby :)




Until next time ;)




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Slacker...checking in!

I actually can't take all of the blame on myself this time. My beloved dog Zeus (our Chihuahua who was 8.5yrs old) passed away right before Easter. He was our first son, and Mr. CBud and I were down in the dumps for a few days. Then we had a bad storm about a week and half ago, and since then our internet hasn't been working well > it would log onto the homescreen, but when you tried to go to another website, the internet wouldn't work. Nothing we tried helped, and with our crazy work schedules we had a hard time coordinating with the company.

Anyways...everything is still doing wonderfully. The belly is continually getting bigger...he's really grown a lot in the past week or so. The baby bump is a definite now, and I don't get asked "are you pregnant?" anymore, but rather "when is your baby due?". It's an incredible feeling and I know I light up every time someone asks. All the girls at work love rubbing my belly and I couldn't mind in the least (I think it's a southern thing, plus they've all been there with me for the miscarriages).

We also decided on a name last week...Parker. =o) Mr. CBud fell in love with the name, but I wasn't sold on it and wanted to hold off until something "called" to me (my motto in life). But after we talked about it I started thinking of him as Parker and one day it seemed to just click. So we happily announced it. So far, it's gotten rave reviews.

I had another appointment yesterday. Everything went well. I'm measuring at 25 weeks (I'm 23 weeks today) but that office doesn't have the best track-record in measuring (4 other women in the office go there). I did get a little coaching about my weight. According to their scale, I've gained 24 pounds in the past 15 weeks. I got a little freaked about that since I've been so anal about my weight in the last few years. But I'm not stressing about it too much. Their scale is about 5 pounds off from mine and the appointment was at 4 in the afternoon, with 2 meals and a butt-load of water in my system (plus I was constipated...sorry for the TMI).

Well, I suppose I'll head out...American Idol is on. I've enjoyed staying up-to-date on everyone's progress and love the directions everyone is heading in! I'm still praying for all of you!

Embies on Board!

Today was our FET!

Since my darling 3rd graders have FCAT testing this week, I went in to work this morning to administer the test. I left immediately after, and Mr. Bossy & I drove to the clinic.

There are 4 REs at the clinic, and they all have an assigned IVF day. My RE is not the IVF doctor on Wednesday, but the clinic's founding doctor is. He's old enough to my grandfather and super nice. He actually did the transfer for our fresh cycle last fall.

To make a long story short, I guzzled water all the way to the clinic so that I would have a full bladder for the ultrasound, and they sent me straight into the operating room. We transferred two (a 4BB blastocyst and a morula) embryos. The RE called the 4BB a "beauty." The RE was really funny, and he kept the mood light while I had my legs up in the air. I reminded him that he had done my fresh transfer, which was successful (even though it resulted in a miscarriage), so I knew that this transfer would also work. It just had to. He laughed and agreed with me. I was able to watch the spectrum being inserted and saw the embryos release into my uterus. As soon as he released them, he said- "That's it! You're pregnant." That got a good laugh out of me.

Mr. Bossy treated me to Cheesecake Factory for lunch on the way home. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with my couch for the next 5 days. :)

Here are our two little rockstars!! (Please excuse the blue sticky note. I used it to cover up my name)

















Bossy Bud

So excited!!!!!

Today is our 1st of 2 integrated screening appointments... which means we will get to see our little miracle on the big screen!!! I am super-duper excited, as is Mr. DBud. He missed the last ultrasound due to a work conflict, so he is REALLY looking forward to seeing the baby today :)

I am currently 12w4d, and am hoping we will start being able to get a glimpse of our LOs "angle of the dangle". When my cousin was KU with her first, s

he had a super clear ultrasound before her official Anatomy Screening, and based on this information (which I found on the internet), I predicted she was having a girl... and she did! Apparently, you can start telling at about 12 weeks. Granted, you shouldn't run out and buy everything pink or blue, but you can start having an idea of what it may be :) Pretty cool, huh?

I am hoping and praying that everything will be ok... I know that God is looking out for us, and that what is meant to be will be. There is always still a bit of a worry at the back of my mind... but I know that if everything is ok today, the worry will start to die down a little more each day. I will be thankful for that :)

Assuming that everything is "A-OKAY", we will be officially spilling the beans. I will make a few calls, and make one special visit to announce the news, and then it's off to Facebook for the final announcement. I found a really cute idea on Pinterest, which Mr. DBud is on board for... so it should be fun and cute :)

Anyway... Hope to have a GREAT update this afternoon/evening or in the next couple of days. It's tech-week at the

Opera, so things are nothing less than SUPER hectic. Please continue to pray for us, and send us all the positive vibes you can :) Thanks a million!!!!!!!

Possible Triphasic Pattern - Part 2

I'm still pondering this possible triphasic pattern. Here is day 2 of my 2nd thermal shift. When I took this temp this morning I did get a little discouraged because I did not want anytype of drop. But I've been searching thru FF charts and finding that it's normal to not have several days of solid rising temps. That smalls dips like this are okay.

I'm trying to keep in mind that just because I have a triphasic pattern it does not mean that I am K/U. It's just nice to have a little taste of hope every now and then.

I will update 2morrow with new temp.....please pray for me.

-Buckeye Bud.

Saturday's Appointment

We went today and there were two other people that arrived right after us, luckily we got to go first. So I still had this headache hanging on so I talked to the Acupuncturist and she put a needle in my head, my forehead and another one in my arm along with yesterdays needles. This time my arm needle didn't bother me at all but my lower abdomen one did still. After this appointment my left lower back was super achy all day and my headache did not go away even with two Advil. By Sunday, my back was feeling fine and my headache was completely gone. I have continue to be a bit crampy still so I am not sure what to make of these symptoms if anything. Monday we have our third appointment and Tuesday we have an appointment with another Acupuncturist to see if we like him better. I have no idea what an Acupuncture appointment is supposed to be like and what is normal so I figure I will go to a few and see if they do things different or explain things differently.

Needles, Needles and More Needles

Our first appointment with the first Acupuncturist was interesting to say the least. We walked into a little old home and it was made into a make-shift office. The couple work together but it is the wife that is the trained Acupuncturist and has been for over 40 years. She was trained in China and has a lot of recognition's from all over for healing people in comas, fertility issues and other health problems. She is quite old and has these gigantic glasses and she has half her teeth and neither of their English is amazing. We were sat down and told that it would be $60 for the consultation and $60 for the treatment. It came out to $240 for that day, yeah a bit of an ouch factor that is for sure!! We filled out all this paperwork on our problems, aches and pains on our bodies and what our goal for Acupuncture was. Then they took our blood pressure and mine is low at 108/26 I think? Don't quote me on that one and my pule was normal. Mr. Explorer Bud's blood pressure was high but his pulse was fine. They then looked at our tongues and eyes to determine what organs were out of wack or Chi. My liver, heart, spleen, kidney, and bladder were all off and she explained that when your organs are not working properly that the rest of your body cannot work properly and that is the cause of many different symptoms. Then her husband I guess figured we didn't get what she was saying and repeated it all to us. We then were sent over to the treatment room. The couple is pretty funny as they are like most old couples that constantly are telling each other what to do but in Chinese so it sounds like they are arguing the whole time. They put a needle in my right arm by my wrist, three needles down my abdomen, one in my calf and another in my ankle. Then they put a heat lamp over my abdomen and every 10 minutes would come in and wiggle my needles to make sure I felt them. The interesting part was the one in my arm was really sensitive and bugged me the whole time and the lower abdomen one also. The others I didn't really feel until he wiggled them. Mr. Explorer Bud go the same arrangement as I but he wasn't bothered by any of them and made a lovely video of him flexing the needle in his arm, such a man!! The Acupuncturist recommends that we come on a daily basis for 12 days so that we will see the results fastest and then do maintenance after, probably 1x week. We after the appointment I started getting a dull headache and my left side of my stomach started getting crampy. I am reaching the end of my BC pack and starting on Progesterone so I will start AF soon, maybe it is my body getting prepared to do its stuff. Mr. Explorer Bud feels like Acupuncture is more of a Placebo effect but who knows. I will keep you posted on symptoms and such.

Starting of a Triphasic Pattern??

Lets hope so!! I actually got excited this morning when I started reading about temperature rises 7DPO. I read that this could be a good sign. It does however seem to be a bit early but maybe it's possible to get early implantation. I also didnt really have a clear temp drop so I'm not sure if that has to occur in a triphasic or not.


I reviewed all of my previous months (Nov '11-March '12) temperatures on 7DPO and I have never gotten such a large spike on this day. They all seemed to be going down at this point in my cycle. I did wake up kind of sweaty this morning so I guess it is possible to contribute that toward the temp spike. But I didnt sleep with any extra blankets or clothing that I usually do. No need to speculate I guess.



I need some opinions or personal accounts with this type of triphasic pattern!

CD 10

I went in for my CD 10 ultrasound to determine if my lining was thick enough for a transfer this week. I arrived 30 minutes early, and thankfully they went ahead and saw me. I wasn't expecting to actually see my RE (I thought it would be a nurse), but she walked into the room. I can't express enough how much I love her.

She called me her "girl" and thanked me again for the notepad I gave her as a Christmas gift. It's nice being appreciated. It makes me feel like I'm not just a body lying on the table. I actually have a name, you know?

She was quiet while she performed the ultrasound (which always makes me nervous), but everything looked great! I then sat down with one of the nurses (my favorite one was busy), and we went over my medications.

Here is what it looks like:

Estrace has decreased to 2 X daily (one oral and the last vaginal)
PIO shot- 2 mL between 6-8 pm each evening
I start a Z-pack tomorrow and take it for 4 days.
Medrol- 16 mg for 4 days
Baby aspirin (81 mg) each evening
Metformin 3 X daily
Prenatal vitamin each evening

I feel like a walking pharmacy!! I actually woke up one night last week paranoid that I had forgotten to take something.

The transfer is set for Wednesday at 12:00. Mr. Bossy and I are so stinkin' excited. I have to go to work that morning since my darling 3rd graders are taking the FCAT this week. I want to be there for them, so I'll be leaving after the test. Mr. Bossy will be taking the day off. We already have plans to stop at The Cheesecake Factory afterward for a late lunch!

Please keep your fingers, toes, and eyes crossed for us. Prayers would be appreciated also. :)



Bossy Bud

CD16

Well, nothing too much to report on. FF shows that I O'd on CD12 - Monday the 9th. (Today is Friday the 3th) At the time, I had gotten a postive OPK on that Sunday the 8th. On that Monday morning, I got a negative OPK and a Peak reading on my CBEFM. I really do think I O'd that day b/c I got a pain in my left ovary that only lasted for about 10 secs. We BD'd at about 10pm on Monday night. I really really hope we didnt do it too late- considering eggs "could" only last 12 hours. Please pray that we timed it perfectly.

-Buckeye Bud

Almost there...

I am starting to finally gain a little confidence about this pregnancy. Finally. Of course, it's been tough, after my early loss last year. Anyone who has ever experienced that knows what I mean. It's terrifying, and honestly I will feel SO much better when I'm out of this dreaded 1st Trimester.

Tomorrow, I will officially be 12 weeks! Some sources see this as the end of the 1st part of pregnancy, but some don't acknowledge it until about 13 - 14 weeks. Either way, I have my next ultrasound this week (on Wednesday to be exact) and will be THRILLED if everything is the way it should be.

I have already told my bosses, at the Opera and at my Teaching job, the wonderful news, and also told the costume department at the opera. Since we are mid-production, we had to make sure the costumes were still fitting correctly, and check for any changes we may have to make. Nothing too major, but it's becoming more and more obvious that I'm packing a little extra on my waist line. It was definitely time to say something. And, to tell you the truth, the news was so well received, that I am glad I finally spilled the beans :)

After we see our LO at our next US, we are going to officially let the cat out of the bag... I am going to make a few calls, and then we're going to tell the world, aka Facebook. That should be interesting :)

Anyway, in the meantime, I still have a few persistent symptoms, which I am happy to have. I have been a bit dizzy, which is new. Had a mild case of vertigo yesterday that all of a sudden, leaving me feeling as if the whole world was spinning (which, of course, it is, but you catch my drift). My boobies and nipples are still tender, and I have had some swelling on my ankles. I think I may be catching a cold that my vitamins are trying to keep at bay, but other than that, I feel fine. Still exhausted, though.

Anyway, hopefully I will have some great news and a wonderful update after my next US... Keep praying for us :)




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First Acupuncture Consult

I have done some research of Acupuncturist in the area and of course the County I live there are few to choose from. There seems to be a couple Chiropractor's that do acupuncture but I may try them if I don't like the sole acupuncturists that I have contacted. I did speak to one lady but she is about 40 minutes away the majority of her practice is dealing with infertility but to drive up there after work in traffic wouldn't be the most relaxing thing or practical in my mind. Anyways, so today is my first appointment with a man here in the town of my IVF Dr. He has a super thick Asian accent so I am hoping we can understand one another better in person than over the phone. I have found a few online reviews of women that have gone to him for fertility issues but not in conjunction with IVF. There is another that is probably 20 minutes away that another fertility clinic recommends so I have an appointment with him next week. Hopefully, after talking with them I will have a better idea if Acupuncture is something I want to pursue or not.

32 Weeks

Yay! I am 32 weeks! We went to our Bradley class tonight and we did a labor rehersal. There were 6 stations set up throughout the house and we practiced like we were having contractions according to what we were sopposed to be doing at each station. For example at one station we were doing side relaxation, at another we were on the ball, for another we were standing, and another pretending like we were laboring in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, etc. I thought it would be weird, but I actually really liked it. It made it all seem so real. It is hard to believe that we are going to be doing it for real in a couple of months. Honestly one of my biggest fears (aside from the baby or me dying or having a C-section...etc) is that I will be a big wimp and do a terrible job during labor. We were there for both of our son's births, and Little Lucky Buds birth mom had a natural childbirth like I hope to. She was incredibly composed and focused and in control during her contractions. I am so scared that I am going to be whimpy and crying and saying I can't do it. I hope that I can be as strong as she was.

I forgot to mention before that I have been having braxton hicks for about the past month and a half. I have them all the time, Like maybe 3 an hour or more. Especially when the mood is stressful, like if the kids are fussy and giving me a hard time. My stomach gets hard as a rock. It is really weird.

On another note, my mom had THE WORST varicose veins. When she had them removed her Dr. said that he had been practicing for 20 years or something like that and had never seen such a bad case. Aside from not looking fabulous, they also caused her a lot of pain, and it was difficult to stand for periods of time. I was always told that varicose veins are hereditary, so as a teenager, it was always something I was concerned about. I already had some veins on the back of my legs that were very superficial, so I sure I would get them. I haven't really worried about it in the past 15 years or so, but as I was taking a bath with my Baby Lucky Bud today I noticed this.... Sorry for the gross photo. The lighting was bad, so I don't know how much you can tell, but I am starting to get some bulging veins, and spider veins. It isn't that bad right now, but I still have quite a ways to go, so I am a little concerned about how bad they will get.

It is funny that the veins that I always worried about on the back of my legs are fine. It is just everywhere else that is starting to pop out! It is not that big of a deal. After all of those years as a teenager worrying about it, I was surprised to find that I really don't care that much anymore. I just hope it doesn't get too gross or too painful.

Mr. Lucky Bud pretty much finished up the patio he was extending in our backyard, and is working on plans to make stairs going down from our deck to our backyard. We live in a townhouse and rent out our basement, so to get to the backyard, we have to walk all the way around the neighbors. I am really hoping he will have time to complete them this summer so that the boys can go down and play while I watch them from the deck, or right inside on the couch while I feed the baby.

I am pretty good except for the occasional heartburn or randomly throwing up, but it doesn't happen too often. I feel the baby moving a lot, even despite the placenta being in the front. I have been feeling a lot of  movement right in the center of my belly lately as opposed to down my hips like had been.

A Sock Story.

I'm not superstitious. At all. I am; however, a firm believer in doing things that make you happy.

When we began our IVF journey last summer, friends and family were very supportive. They shared words of encouragement and prayed, but they didn't know what else to do for us.

I shared a story with my girlfriends about a woman who had asked her friends to buy her a pair of silly, fun socks to wear to her appointments while she underwent fertility treatments. I loved the idea, so I asked my girlfriends if they would be willing to do the same for me. I figured if I had to have my feet up in the air, I (the nurses & doctors) may as well be a little entertained.

I was amazed at the number of friends that immediately gave me a pair of socks (my BFF gave me two), and it immediately became a "must" to wear a different pair each time. I've received lots of comments from the nurses and my doctor about the socks. Mr. Bossy even joined the fun and gave me a new pair in my stocking at Christmas and one in my Easter Basket yesterday!

I recently read online that the actor who plays Dr. Spencer Reed in Criminal Minds wear mismatched socks for luck in real life. I'm definitely doing this on Friday and for our transfer.
I figure we can use all the luck we can get!

31 Weeks

I am 31 weeks and 3 days pregnant now! My how the time flies! I am counting down the weeks in single digits now! It is so hard to believe. When Mr Lucky Bud took my photo for this week, I almost didn't believe that was me!

We are still just in project mode right now to get ready for the baby.
Baby Lucky Bud has continued to sleep through the night now that he does not have a bottle in his bed, so I decided to move Little Lucky Bud into that room since they will be sharing once the baby is born(the baby will sleep in our room for a while, but we will have a few visiters from Seattle in the early months so I want that room free. Plus I want to start making it look like a girls room!). I couldn't believe how easy of a transition it was. Little Lucky Bud is so good, and it doesn't bother him if Baby Lucky cries a few minutes, and they have both slept in the same room great for about a week! I feel so accomplished. There are all of these things that I have stressed out about and dreaded doing, and then it all turns out great!
We also painted our baby girls bedroom, I put together her crib and dresser and Mr Lucky Bud extended the backyard patio with paver stones and laid about 15 rolls of sod to fill in some old garden patches and dead grassy areas. It has been a busy week. I felt so accomplished! I am not one of those people that you could drop in on anytime, and my house would be clean, so the thought of going into labor, and the midwives coming over to a messy house and not having the house clean when the baby arrives, totally stresses me out. That is why I am going crazy with all of these projects, and trying to get the house in order, hopefully before my 36 week house visit by our midwives.

Little Lucky Bud turns 3 tomorrow and we had his birthday party today. We had an egg hunt, flew kites then had a BBQ with some friends and family. It was a great day, but my feet hurt soooo bad! If I stand more than 2 hours lately I feel like standing on my tippy toes because my heels and arches get so sore.

I also have gone back to throwing up every now and then, but at least I am never nauseated which is much worse. These days it is because of heartburn, or because the texture of a food will gross me out for whatever reason. Last night I made homemade nachos with refried beans, guacamole, salsa, sour cream, etc. On one of my last bites I took note that it was very creamy. I almost instantly threw up. Little Lucky Bud stood next to me rubbing my leg saying, "Oh sweetheart! Are you okay honey?" It was so sweet.

This week according to babycenter.com our baby is about 3.3 lbs and over 16 inches long! They also say she is going through a growth spurt, which would make sense because I have been extra hungry lately. I am still enjoying my yoga classes and have a few more Bradley Childbirth Education classes to go. I love my Bradley class because it is one of the few times that Mr. Lucky Bud and I get to spend time together without a million things going on. 

This part of pregnancy has been really fun for me. I feel pretty good over all and am officially looking like a pregnant lady!
I finally took a picture! I posted a comparison picture too. What a difference 10 weeks makes!

21 Weeks

31 weeks, 3 days

Brighter Days!

My appointment on Monday went extremely well! My cyst had to be smaller than 12 mm for us to proceed safely. Not only was it less than 12 mm, but it was completely GONE! I almost started crying right there in front of the nurse. I was instructed to stop taking my BCPs and wait for CD1 to begin my meds.

AF arrived bright and early Wednesday morning, and I took my first estrace pill. My next appointment is on Friday, April 13th. They will check my lining and give me our transfer date. We can't wait! Until then, this is how my days look:

Metformin- 3 X daily
Estrace- 4 X daily (last pill is vaginal)
Doxycycline- 2 X daily (with food)
Prenatal vitamin every evening

I'll begin my PIO soon after the CD10 appointment on the 13th. I'm curious as to why my last estrace pill must be vaginal. When we did the fresh IVF cycle, all of my estrace pills were oral. I'll try to remember to ask my nurse when I see her again.

More good news- I'm an AUNT! My nephew was born early Wednesday morning. He's precious, and I love him already.




Bossy Bud

To Acupuncture or Not & Hormone Update

So it has been a little more than two months since starting RHT and I am feeling good. My emotions have leveled off and my energy levels are up and I am sleeping well. All that is great news for me and I have started back to eating Paleo again to help my hormones stay at the levels they need to be at and keep my PCOS and Hypothyroid symptoms at bay thus increasing my chances of a successful IVF.

I am debating adding in Acupuncture because I am thinking that if it IVF doesn't work this next round I won't know if it was the acupuncture that wasn't helpful or the Hormones. If it does work I would have the same issue that I wouldn't know which was the helpful one. The other side of that logic is that if it doesn't work with Acupuncture and Hormones than neither were effective and I wouldn't do either again if we continued with IVF or if it does work who cares what the contributing factor was. My only thoughts about that is if it did work and then we wanted to do IVF again I would feel like I would need to do both again and if the Hormones and eating Paleo was what did it then I would save about $6,000. What are your ladies thoughts, experiences, etc??

10w5d... And counting :)

Well, here I am. 10w5d, and so far do good! Honestly, I couldn't be happier and I still can't believe we've made it this far! :)

With the exception of a few symptoms, I actually feel okay... I have been experiencing extreme fatigue, which is not a total deal breaker, but is proving to be a bit bothersome at times. Don't get me wrong... I rather be exhausted than be constantly praying to the porcelain gods, but I just don't feel very efficient lately. For example, last night, I was so tired that I was actually dizzy. I was even dizzy during one of my late night/early morning bathroom runs. Again, not a major symptom to complain about, just something to note.

As I mentioned... I've been running to the bathroom a bit more. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to, especially in the middle of the night when I need my sleep, but still nothing to majorly complain about.

Another symptom I've been experiencing is edema. My ankles have been swelling, usually by the end a long day (i.e. teaching all day, my private lesson and an opera rehearsal). I try to elevate them at bed time, and it helps a bit. I have also had a little swelling in my hands. I know that part of it is not getting enough water, which is a habit I must get into a bit more :-/ it's just a bit hard for me, cause I like my water really cold, and it's hard to carry around a bottle all day and keep it that way. Still, I will find a way :)

My boobies are still sore, and kind of humongous. I can't really press anything like my iPad or books against my chest without remembering that they are sore... But again, another symptom that is more than manageable.

All in all, I really can't complain. I feel so blessed to have made it this far, that nothing could get me down! I am that much closer to putting the 1st trimester behind me, which will be a relief (anyone who has ever had an early loss knows what I mean). I look forward to the days when I won't be afraid to look at the paper after I use the restroom and wipe, and I won't freak over tiny cramps or pulls. Those days are coming soon :) I can see them over the horizon.

Other than that, I am anxious to see our little Frijol again... In less than two weeks we will have our 1st of 2 integrated screening appointments at exactly 12w4d :)

Hope to have more updates soon! Until next time!





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Pre Eclampsia - I Has It

Hi All! Sorry to have been MIA - just have kind of been on a whirlwind of emotions that has to do with the title of this post.

At my 27.5 week appointment, I thought it was going to be a normal run of the mill appointment. Go to Dr. appointment, get told my blood pressure was a little high, hear Dude's heartbeat get sent home. Guess what? It didn't go that way.

Apparently the first blood pressure taken was so high they wouldn't even tell me the numbers. After the doctor came in and listened to the heart beat, he took it again and said it was still on the high side and sent me to triage (kind of like the ER for pregnant ladies) for a few hours to do rolling blood pressures. He told me he didn't think anything was wrong, but he wanted to be sure.

When I got to triage they hooked me up on all kinds of monitors and had my blood pressures taken. I was pulling high numbers - I was stressed out. They took blood to make sure my liver and kidneys were still functioning properly and took a pee sample to look at the protein levels.

The blood tests turned out fine, but the pee test showed my proteins were up to about 280. The cut off for pre eclampsia is 300. Due to the high blood pressure numbers I was pulling in triage (160s and 180s/80s) I won the prize of a night stay in the hospital. I had never stayed in the hospital overnight before so I freaked out a little bit more.

I did a 24 hour urine sample in the hospital and had my blood pressures taken every 4 hours. The BP came down significantly - in the 120/130 and a few in the 140 range, but the pee test came back at 320, so the diagnosis of pre eclampsia was given.

I was scared to be diagnosed so early. All I kept thinking was that I was going to have a premature baby at 28 weeks, which is terrifying. However, they said my condition was mild, but it could turn around at anytime.

Things I have to be mindful of:

1. Spots in front of my eyes (Can I tell you how many "spots" I think I see now? I'm almost positive I see them when I turn my head and come to find it is just a bug. I talked to my doctor about it and he said that those spots are normal - I'm sure he thinks I'm psycho)
2. Pain in my upper right quadrant (I have this all of the time on my right and left sides - especially when Dude is in my rib cage)
3. Headaches that are severe or don't go away (Want to know how many phantom headaches I have a day? Don't ask)
4. Nausea or vomiting (another symptom I've been having when Dude is doing back flips in my belly)

So ya, give a hypochondriac (me) a list of symptoms and I swear I have them all and that I'm going to die. My only saving grace is my blood pressure machine at home. I take it about 3 times a day (sometimes more because I'm a little obsessed with it) and record my pressures. They are almost never high when I'm at home which is a relief.

I guess I'm kind of on a modified bed rest. I don't really go anywhere except places where I know I can sit and much walking isn't involved and I work from home 4 out of 5 days a week now. Seems to be working.

I've went from 2 appointments a week back down to one since my BP on Tuesday was 122/60 and my proteins came back negative on the dip test (I had another 24 urine same the week before and levels were only up 30 points), so I'm feeling a little better. Although the terms "seizure" "stroke" and "premature baby" still tend to haunt me.

But for now, I guess I'm holding steady. I've had this for almost 4 weeks now and in 1 day, I will be 31 weeks pregnant. No blood pressure meds and no full bed rest. If Dude can hold out for at least 3 more weeks, I will be ecstatic - although I know he needs to cook longer than that.

Oh, and I have a new "due" date too. Since they won't let me go past 37 weeks, looks like I'm having the baby no later than May 19th. Yes, I'm having a baby next month. Four days after my 30th birthday to be exact.

Sounds like the best birthday present ever to me. Let's just keep praying for 37 weeks.

Nearly 2 Years TTC & I'm Sick of Being So Sad

Sorry for the delay in writing recently, I just haven't been feeling it. Nothing to report on.....ever. Same song and dance with me feeling sorry for myself. It get's so old. I just want to be happy again. I'm tired of thinking about TTC. I would love to go to the doc and get back on my anti-dep's but if I'm TTC that's a no-no. Sigh....

My CBEFM didn't really help me out and my FF is confused as hell. I got a "Peak" reading on the CD 12 and 13. My understanding was that I was supposed to do the BD on those days and the days prior to the Peak reading. I still dint know if this is right, but according to FF I didn't OV until CD15 (and that's after dismissing 2 readings b/c i took them at 10am rather than 6am) Needless to say, it didn't work.

I've also noticed, that my body isn't waiting the full 15 days for AF to arrive (if I'm OV'ing when I think I did). It's always 12-13 day leutal phase. I have tons of the Progesterone beads my RE gave me, but I really dread those things. Has anyone ever tried the Progesterone cream they sell at CVS or Walgreens. That seems much simpler. I know that if your leutal phase doesn't last long enough it's considered a defect. Which really wouldn't surprise me......I'm jacked up in so many other ways as it is. Does anyone have this??

I am still on 1500mg's on my Glumetza (Metformin). I took 2 before bed time last night and I haven't been sick this morning. So, as long as I eat a meal tonight for dinner I will take a total of 4 today. On a better note, I feel as if this stuff is finally starting to work on my hormones. My face is clearing up wonderfully and I can I only have 1 pimple!!!! This is so effing exciting since there hasn't been a day in the past 11 months where I have had less than 10! Unfortunately, my face has been left with SO many scars. I wear a pound of makeup to cover, but knowing my skin is destroyed makes me sad. Anyone have any suggestions on treatments for this that wont add any extra oil to my face??

Anyways, today is my CD 5 so I will begin my CBEFM again 2morrow. I'm skipping the Femara this month just b/c. Please pray for me that I am given a gift this month.

-Buckeye Bud

Tomorrow, Tomorrow.....

It's only a day away!!

I jinxed myself in my last blog when I wrote that the first week on BCPs flew by because the second week took F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

Tomorrow I'll return to my RE to see if my BCPs have shrunk the cyst. It needs to be less than 12 mm for us to proceed safely. I'm so scared and anxious. Mr. Bossy & I have waited to move on since December, and I'm not a very patient person.

My nephew will be making his debut in a couple of weeks. My SIL told me yesterday that she'll probably be induced the week after Easter since he's getting bigger and she has such a small frame. It's funny how two months ago, I was super excited about being an aunt. I was getting used to the situation. Still extremely jealous, but getting more and more excited. I spoke with my SIL about our FET plans, and she couldn't have cared less. That broke my heart. With our "bump in the road", I've noticed myself slipping back to my old feelings. I feel like things are just not working out for Mr. Bossy and I, and I often throw myself a pity party.

Something else I've noticed about myself is I'm no longer as open about our infertility and doctor business with family and friends. I never told the world, but I shared with certain people. Recently, I've been keeping pretty quiet. I figure if people want to know, then they'll ask.

I'm going to close this blog with a song that I know we can all relate to. Grab some tissues.






Bossy Bud