Results

My first beta is 138! I can't believe it! My next beta is Monday. I did a HPT so that I could see two lines for the first time in my life. Yeah! I am pregnant!

Blood Test

I went to a local fertility clinic and had my first blood test today. I am waiting for the results and will probably hear back around 3 or 4 o' clock. The waiting is so hard! If I could just take a huge nap to sleep the day away, I would. I didn't take any hpt this time. For my IVF cycle, I started testing early, and it was so depressing to see a negative over and over, but to still have a glimmer of hope. This time, I decided that if I have to see a negative, I only want to see it once.
I am excited for my result, but not really hopeful at this point. I have basically already excepted that it is going to be negative and am trying to decide what to do next.
I will post tonight when I know for sure!

Appointment Made!!

I have finally gotten around to making a new appointment with the new fertility Dr. I get to fill out a bunch of paperwork but I know it makes it easier for the Dr. to get a feel of where we have been and what we have already been diagnosed with. I think I am ready to get back on the roller coaster of treatments. It has been 8 months since the last IVF in February and if we don't start right away and this next round isn't successful then I will be 32 before having a baby!!! I know, not ancient, but when we are talking about prime fertile years time is tickin' away!!

I also may have some good news but am going to wait till next week to blog about it when I know more information!! Stay tuned...

When?!?

Well guess what. There's another pregnant lady wandering around. And no, it ain't me. Remember the friend who had the ectopic? She is the new lucky recipient of a BFP. And you know what? I'm about tired of being happy for everyone else around me...I want some of that happiness for myself. I'm sure you ladies will forgive me for sounding like a petulant child. =o/

In addition to that, I/we think the BF's water broke this evening at work. She's at the MAU now getting checked. She says she'll call me when she needs me; I'm anxious to be there for her but I don't want to step on anyone's toes. We'll see. I'm more excited for her now than I am sorry for myself. Hopefully this sentiment will last me far past the birth. Self pity is quite exhausting.

Right now I'm on day CD11, and have been keeping an eye on my cervical fluid. I'm not sure if Mr. Curly Bud will be willing to have a go at it this month or not. We go on vacation for our anniversary in about 1.5weeks so I'm kind of leaning on waiting until we get back to start trying again. We'll see.

The worst feeling...

Well, here I am... 15 days away from what would've been my EDD. I feel like crap. I think I am doing a pretty good job at keeping it together, what with all the Baby Shower pics being posted on FB, and the fact that Similac decided to send me a sample box in the mail today (AHHH!!!!!). These constant reminders really SUCK. And there is nothing I can do about any of it. What also sucks is the fact that AF is still MIA. F.M.L.!!!!!

I am really trying to stay positive and remember that things will get better. I visited the Doctor on Monday in preparation for a diet program I will be starting at the end of this week. He is a former gynocologist who has started a special diet program. I told him about my situation with PCOS and my MC. He told me that the two best ways to get my PCOS under control are to take my metformin and lose weight, and they both go hand in hand. He advised that I start taking one, 500mg, pill a day to start, and work my way up to the 2 500mg a day. He also said that the good news is I know I can get pregnant, and he believes it will happen again. He said he would run all my blood tests and look for even the smallest issue with my thyroid, etc. to make sure that is not a contributing factor. Honestly, it seems VERY promising, and I am hopeful. Once I get started on this, and get a grip on it, I think I'll officially make my appointment at the IVF clinic to run tests there, and start seeing what else I can do to help my situation.

Thankfully, this (and work) is keeping me so busy that I don't have much time to think about my Pity Party... but I know I will not be able to forget. It's going to be difficult, but I just have to get through this and keep my eye on a positive future.

Keepin the Faith

Five more days until my first beta. I am trying to remain hopeful, but it is hard. It is difficult to not want to emotionally prepare myself for the disappointment. I am already making mental plans of what the next step could be, but Mr. Lucky Bud is encouraging me to wait 5 more days before thinking about all of that.

Things are going much better with the progesterone shots. We finally have it figured out. We have to do the injection very slowly, over 3 minutes, and then I need to massage the injection site for about 3 minutes, and then, no pain all day! It  is so much better! 

Full Term!

(Image credit: http://tinyurl.com/3vzykty )

We made it to full term! 37 weeks!

Totally unbelievable to me that baby is now supposedly the size of a watermelon.

No progress on his escape to report on as of yet, just some pressure downstairs periodically. As of today though, he's allowed to start the ball rolling in that direction.

Same Ole' Same Ole'

There really hasn't been much of a change in my TTC journey as I have yet to make an appointment. I still need to get around to it but I am finally feeling like I am out of the fog of being. I am not sure I am ready to reopen those emotions if our next round of IVF doesn't work.

I did compete in the triathlon with my friend over the weekend and we completed the sprint triathlon in 2 hours 5 minutes, which isn't bad for not training very hard. It was great to get out and do a competition again since I have been putting off doing anything while doing IVF. It felt good to get out there and not focus on infertility.

I think I will keep doing short runs and triathlons instead of putting them off just in case I get pregnant.

36 Week Update

How far along: 36 weeks and 6 days. Full term is tomorrow!

Total weight change: Going by the doctors scale at my 36 week appointment on Wednesday, +27. I actually went down a pound from the week before. No worries, it balances out the +2 from the previous week.

Maternity clothes: Always. I've pretty much moved into dresses at this point. It kills my hips to get pants on and off. I'm starting to look forward to wearing regular clothes again, eventually. Feeling like my wardrobe is really limited these days.

Stretch Marks: No new developments since last week.

Movement: I think he's getting pretty squished in there. Movements have changed yet again to subtle butt wiggles and occasional limb stretches. My kidneys appreciate this change, but it does mean I have to lay really still sometimes to get kick counts done.

Sleep: I just can't seem to get enough sleep lately. Sleep at night is broken up by bathroom trips and braxton hicks contractions. During the day if I need a nap, and my schedule allows, I'm all about taking one.

Best Moment This Past Week: At the end of my appointment this week the nurse went ahead and made all of my weekly appointments up to my due date (they usually go appt to appt). There are only THREE more appointments. The look on my face when she started saying "October" for the appointments beyond next weeks? Priceless.

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: My worries about something going wrong in these last weeks of the pregnancy are getting pretty bad. Its reminding me a lot of my worries in the first few weeks of the pregnancy...just instead of praying for him to not miscarry, I'm praying that I won't get this far just to have him taken away. I have more anxiety about making it to delivery day than about the actual delivery.

Belly Button In or Out: Still an inny.

Cravings/Aversions: Nothing major.

Symptoms: No major changes in the last couple weeks. Braxton Hicks pretty regularly and sporadic (last night being one of those times) instances with lots of pressure downstairs. My carpal tunnel has gotten a lot better, probably thanks to the braces and the change in temperature. Mostly I just feel like I'm enormous and its hard to get around.

4 Days Post FET

Well today marks my 4th day post frozen embryo transfer. I found this breakdown of what is happening each day post 3 day FET. 
1dpt ..embryo is growing and developing
2dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
3dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
4dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
5dpt.. Implantation begins as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
6dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
7dpt.. Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells &
fetal cells
8dpt...Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
9dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
10dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
11dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on
HPT
I have found this on several blogs. Here is the link to one. I am not sure of the original source.


So far, not much to report. I am still in tons of pain from the PIO injections. My muscles get so extremely sore that it is painful to do anything. We have tried a few suggestions, like icing before and heat after the injection, and doing it slower (over 3 min period instead of 30 seconds). Nothing is helping. I had no soreness at all for my IVF cycle. Maybe it was a different kind of oil???

I have been feeling nauseous today, but it seems too early for pregnancy symptoms, so I don't know why I don't feel well.

I have exactly one week until my beta test!

=o(

Yep, you guessed it. BFN. Twice. And to make things final, AF came this morning. *sigh* Maybe it will help that I'll be able to take my baby aspirin and royal jelly longer, so hopefully the likelihood of benefits will be greater.

I'm wondering about getting an ovulation kit, but worried that I will get too up-tight and become stressed, therefore hindering the baby-making even more. What to do, what to do...

I was sad about AF, so a friend and I (the one I mentioned before who had the ectopic) went to a children's consignment shop and I got something else for my baby box. I tell ya, I may not need to buy anything once I have a child (natural or otherwise) for all this stuff I'm buying! It did make me feel better though.

Embryo Transfer

Yeah! We had our embryo transfer this morning! We called the office first thing to see what to do about the medication I misplaced. They had it at the office, so we just left a little early since I was supposed to take it 1 hour before the transfer. They prescribe valiium the day of the transfer which I thought was weird, and the other was abuterol, which is for asma, but it also relaxes the muscles in the uterus.

I waited until I was at the office to drink the water because last time I drank to much and I could hardly make it thought the mock transfer. They called me in pretty quickly and my nurse came in right away to give me the run down and my gown. Next the Dr came in and spoke with me for a couple of minutes, and at the same time the embryologist came in and let us know how the thaw went.

For our IVF  cycle I was completely closed off to transferring 3 embryos, and then it didn't work. So this time I said I would like to transfer 2 or 3. They thawed three and they all made it! They were all day 3 multicells.
They were:  grade 1-8 cell,  grade 2-6 cell and  grade 2-8 cell. I hope I explained that right, but I can't find the paper right now that had the quality of cells on it.


When I first got into the room for the FET, they prepped me for the transfer. For part of that process they sterilized my insides which stung sooo bad, but only lasted 45 seconds. I had to pee of course, so having the technician pressing the ultrasound on my bladder made it even harder. The Dr. couldn't get the positioning that he wanted for the embryos, so it took a few tries. When it was done I was relieved and just thinking about how long it would be before I got to pee. They wheeled me into another room where I stayed laying down for 30 minutes, but they brought me a bed pan, and I didn't even care at the moment that it would get on my bum and back a little bit.

Then I got dressed and that was pretty much it! Things went smoothly and I am very hopeful to have one stick!

I test on Sept 30th!

It is what it is...

And here it is...




A BFN. As expected. Last period was May 27th, and that's all there is to say about that.

I am going for a consultation with a Doctor that assists with weight loss. Apparently, he used to be a Gynecologist and is familiar with PCOS and such... Maybe I will finally be able to take control of this body of mine. I have been overweight my entire life, and lately it's a bit out of control. I am tired of it ruling my life, and I want to be healthy.

I am also in the process of making an appointment with the Fertility Clinic. Got a call back today, so just need to set something up and give them my insurance info.

Other than that, nothing to report. As I said, it is what it is. Maybe I'll have something better to say next week after my appointment.




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33 Weeks and Other Updates

So technically 33 weeks is tomorrrow, but we are close enough. As much as I don't want to wish my pregnancy away I am so uncomfortable that I am ready to be done. My ribs began hurting again this week along with my back. Usually if I sleep with a pillow underneath my ribs on the painful side it helps but now my ribs are bruised again so even that hurts! Other than that lovely symptom, I have been more fatigued lately.

In addition to the symptoms I have been nesting which Mr. BB loves! I have deep cleaned our bedroom, our bathroom, our closet, the pantry, put together our Arm's Reach Cosleeper and set up the car seat and stroller. Here is a picture of the cosleeper:



Ours is only natural not gingham like the one pictured. Imagine from

We really like the cosleeper because it attaches to our bed so our LO will be sleeping with us, but in the safety of a separate space. Since I will be breastfeeding it makes sense for the baby to be so close to me.

At my 32 week appointment baby sounded good and I measured right on track. I also did not gain any weight since my last appointment. I had the opportunity to ask the midwife all of my questions, which were a lot. I was pleased with all the answers she gave me. Since I will be giving birth in the Alternate Birthing Center (ABC) with midwives and nurses who are for natural birth the midwife agreed with everything in my birth plan. I live about an hour and ten minutes from the ABC and this is my second birth so my midwife suggested against laboring much at home. My last labor lasted 12 hours and the second labor is supposed to be quicker the midwives (and Mr. BB) don't want me delivering the baby on the highway. Luckily I will have the freedom to walk around, take a bath etc during labor which is great.

Mr. BB and I more than half way through our Bradley Birth classes. We really enjoy them and they are helping us communicate our wants/needs for L & D (mostly mine obviously) and to get prepared to any situation that could occur. We do a lot of relaxation in class and are supposed to practice it outside of class as well. Mr. BB and I try to practice as much as we can but we could be better.

I am very excited that my shower is this weekend! I can't wait to see some of my family and friends I haven't seen in awhile and to celebrate this LO. I will also be relieved that when the shower is over we can purchase the rest of the necessities and have everything ready for LO.

I half packed the hospital bag with all our clothes. I am printing out the list of what else to pack and putting it with the hospital bag so we can finish packing it as we get closer. We also made the who to call/text list. It feels good to be prepared!

I will definitely update after my shower, hopefully with some pictures. I can't wait!

Best,

Sooo Much Pain

It is still the night before my FET. I am in so much pain from my progesterone shots. I don't know how I could bear three months of this morning and night if I am to become pregnant. I took PIO for my round of IVF, but I hardly had any soreness at all. Now it is so bad that it is difficult to function. I really hope there is another way. I am going to ask the Dr in the morning. Has anyone used progesterone suppositories before? Is it the same difference at the PIO? Lucky Bud is off trying to find ice for my very sore muscles so that I can get some sleep. Big day tomorrow at 10 am!

Road Trip

Knoxville, Tennessee, here we come! We are just on our way out on our way to the clinic for the embryo transfer. We left the kids with Mr. Lucky Buds sister. That was hard. My bum is super sore from the progesterone shots, and I am feeling very emotional for some reason. I don't know if it is me or the meds. More to come from Tennessee!

Ready for ET

After my tumultuous day on Tuesday, the week got slightly worse before it got better. I was exhausted on Wednesday from being so stressed on Tuesday. However I still had to teach an entire day and then I had a grad class afterward. I knew there was no way that I could make it through the class, so I went through DD's and bought myself a coffee, a real coffee. You know, the kind with caffeine that most of the world drinks. This was my first caffeinated drink in months, but I didn't think anything of it. I always had coffee late in the afternoon and I was fine, so why would this be any different.

I realized my mistake later that night when I was wide awake at midnight. However the caffeine wasn't the only thing keeping me up. I was in so much pain that any time I would even roll to my side, I was in severe pain. I also couldn't touch my stomach because of all the pain. I was positive I had OHSS and was contemplating waking Mr. PB up to bring me to the emergency room. At some point however (I believe around 3 AM), I fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke and felt about 75% better. I still had slight pain, but nothing really to talk about. I spent the day drinking Gatorade and eating protein. I was waiting for the pain to return later that night. It didn't and by the next morning I had no pain what-so-ever.

That sort of leaves me where I am right now. I am awaiting my ET which is scheduled for noon today. I will have 25 minutes of acupuncture before and after the transfer and then it is the couch for me for the rest of the weekend. I truly hope that these blasts are strong and snuggle in. I am ready to the be the next bud with a success story.

Eating Success (Continued)

Credit

So I measured myself yesterday and I have lost 2.5 inches in my waist and hips, 2" in my thighs and .5" in my chest, I hopefully will stop losing in my chest because lets be honest I don't have much of one to begin with!! This is also with me being not strict at all for the past two weeks of birthday celebration between myself, my MIL and Mr. EB! It is rough having so many birthdays together!!

I was talking with Mr. EB about when we would reschedule our appointment with the new RE and I think we will go for next month. That way maybe we can get things going again before the new year. Not sure what the new RE will say but maybe he will find a reason that the first two didn't work.

This weekend I am off to Lake Tahoe for a Sprint Triathlon with a childhood friend which I am stoked to be doing it with her but a wee bit nervous as I haven't trained like I should have. Who knows I may surprise myself and not do half bad!!

Our cost for our Open Embryo Adoption (Attempt)

Okay, it is late and I can't sleep, so I decided to detail out our expenses for our embryo adoption, and since we have paid a little here, and a little there, I did not realize until this moment how fast it has added up. We have paid everything except for the storage and transfer fees which are due before the transfer. I really hope that this transfer works!

$300 NEDC Application fee
$300 Home Study Update  (Full home studies are around $2,000 but we just needed an update)
$300 STD screening for Mr Lucky Bud and I with no insurance coverage
$800(now $1200) NEDC Program fee
$500Initial consult and mock transfer
$300Travel to Tennessee with overnight stay for consult
$300 Bethany Home Study Review
$2700 Bethany Open Adoption Program (This fee is only for people electing to have an open agreement, not for an anonymous donor)
$181 Embryo Shipping fee (varies by donor)
$400 Pre-existing embryo storage costs (vaires by donor)-these are outstanding fees for embryo storage that need to be paid to release the embryos. Some donors do not have any outstanding fees.
$550 Medication (varies)
$335 1st monitoring bloodwork and ultrasound (this was my cost at my local fertility clinic with no insurance)
$425 2nd monitoring bloodwork and ultrasound (this was my cost at my local fertility clinic with no insurance coverage)
$3,527 embryo transfer
$300 Travel and overnight stay in Knoxville, TN for embryo transfer
Total cost of 1st embryo transfer = $11,218


The program includes a second and third transfer if the first fails for just the cost of the transfer($3,527)

For an open adoption, there would be an additional expense with Bethany if you did not have any remaining embryos from your donor, and had to start an agreement with a new donor. There would not be any additional fees for an anonymous donor.

The person that I learned about this program from chose a closed adoption, had no embryo storage or transfer fees, already had a home study, and spent a total of $5,500 two years ago. The fees have increased a bit since then. They did not mention monitoring costs, so maybe it was covered by insurance.

Feeling strange...

I don't know if it's the "new school year" germs or what... But I have been feeling a bit funky lately.

Sunday, I woke up feeling "so-so", with a pounding headache (not migraine just headache) that turned into some weird chills (my lip felt as if it had no circulation) that became nausea that made me run to the bathroom to throw up a bit. After all that, I slept it off and felt better, resuming my week as I normally do. I have had a headache, pretty much, every day since then. Today, I took a little nap to prepare for a dinner with friends, and upon waking up, I was totally dizzy and nauseous. I had some chewable Pepto, went to the bathroom and lost some of it, then went to the dinner. As we arrived, I wasn't feeling too hot, but a while into it I was pretty much better... Probably 90%.

Does this seem strange?? I mean I know there is a virus going around, but I have yet to feel any "flu" symptoms... It's just the headaches and nausea. A part if me kinda feels like I should run to the drug store and pick up some tests to POAS. I may just have to, tomorrow.

And, on another note - as if it wasn't obvious by this post - still no sign of AF... :-/ The waiting game continues.




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Back From Vacation

Rare moment of peace

The boys loving the airport tram

We have been in Seattle all week visiting family. We got home WAY too late last night. Both of the boys caught a stomach bug early on in the week and I was very busy with sick babies while on vacation. It was still great to be back in my home town and to see my sisters though. My older sister just had a baby a month ago. She is so tiny. Holding her, I got excited all over to be holding a tiny baby again.

Baby Ruby

My transfer is still scheduled for Monday, but I am waiting for my lab results from my bloodwork and ultrasound this morning that will determine if we are still on. I am not too hopeful because at my last ultrasound I was not where they were hoping I would be. Hopefully I will know in the next few hours or so.

Update:
I waited ALL day to hear back from my nurse and she finally returned my call at 4:55 to tell me that we are still on for our transfer on the 19th! I am so excited! I really wasn't expecting to be able to go. The boys are going to stay at my sister-in-laws house while we make the drive to Knoxville, TN (from Maryland). We brought Little Lucky Bud when we made the trip in December, but he gets car sick so it was a very difficult trip. He will hopefully be a lot happier playing with his cousins. We will leave on Sunday morning and arrive in the evening. My transfer is Monday, and we will stay the night and leave Tuesday. I am so grateful to get to be going to go so soon even though it looked like their might have been some set backs!

One Month To Go

I seriously can't believe that a month from today is when my EDD is. Granted he'll come whenever he pleases, but it is so crazy to be able to say "next month" when people ask when I'm due.

We're doing pretty well in terms of being prepared for him to arrive. I still have to pack my hospital bag, but the last few things we'll need for him (diapers...kind of an important detail) were purchased today. I've also had to stock up on feminine supplies for me for afterwards...something I didn't think about until the other day. I've liked getting to skip that aisle for almost all of the year so far.

I had another trip to L&D yesterday. The long and short of it is that my super fun 35 week appointment (2 hr GTT, GBS and my very first internal exam all in one appointment) left me spotting courtesy of my lovely sensitive cervix. Not surprising AT ALL given how I'd spot at the drop of a hat with any disturbance in 1st Tri and that internal check involved my cervix being all kinds of irritated (um, ouch!). Anyhow, spotting went from pink to red then to brownish red. Doctors heard the word red and sent me to L&D. Four hours at L&D later we were told it was exactly what I tried to tell them was going on in the first place. Gotta love that. On the plus side though, we got to hear babies heartbeat for over an hour AND got a quick glimpse of him yawning on the ultrasound.

Might as well do the check in now since I'm here:

How far along: 35 weeks and 5 days. Due date is exactly a month from today!

Total weight change: Going by the doctors scale at my 35 week appointment on Tuesday, +28. Not liking this 2 lbs in a week thing...

Maternity clothes: Always. I've pretty much moved into dresses at this point. It kills my hips to get pants on and off.

Stretch Marks: No new developments since last week.

Movement: I've got a wriggler in there. He gets hiccups 2-3 times a day. Just last night he discovered he can stretch his leg out and pretty much hit my kidney. Thanks kid.

Sleep: Hit or miss. I seem to be pass out tired at bedtime, sleep for a few hours and then have to put myself to sleep again when I wake up to pee. I'm getting good at napping anytime the opportunity arises as well (good practice for when baby is here?)

Best Moment This Past Week: Seeing the baby yawn on the ultrasound yesterday. Finding out I don't have GD after all was also pretty sweet.

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: Pelvic exams are downright painful and I've managed to get two in the past two days.

Belly Button In or Out: Still an inny.

Cravings/Aversions: Nothing major.

Symptoms: Stupid sensitive cervix acting up again after the internal. The Braxton Hicks are increasing in frequency and sometimes intensity and the little guy is sometimes putting pressure on my cervix. He's still not dropped yet though.

A sign?

Do any of you ladies believe in signs? I mean like you were supposed to be on the 11 o'clock train but lost your keys making you late, and keeping you out of a horrific train accident - that kind of sign.

Well, I do. And yesterday I wonder if I saw one. Let me explain...

The BF made me a bracelet (beautiful) with the baby's birthstones on it (peridot for August, and amethyst for February) - strangely my two fave colors. I wear it practically every day and have received many compliments on it, though I rarely go into the meaning of the colors. Well yesterday, as I was getting out of the car I hooked my pocketbook on my left forearm and proceded to walk toward the stairs to get into the office. I heard a little snap. My bracelet broke! Now on one hand, I'm sad that it broke but not devastated because it can easily be fixed. But on the other, is it a sign? Does that mean that this cycle of miscarriages is broken like my bracelet? I thought it was ironic especially happening this week when I am to take a HPT this weekend/early next week.

Definitely a head-scratcher!

*Symptoms: increased cravings, increased fatigue and CRABBINESS!!! <~~Poor Mr. Curly Bud! I know that these symptoms can also be caused by AF, but I feel they are different than normal.

Roller Coaster Ride

That is exactly what IF is. It is one long roller coaster ride that I just can't seem to get off of.
High - 20 follicles found on Saturday
Coming down - 15 eggs retrieved
Near the bottom - only 9 (60%) fertilized using ICSI.
Bottom - clinic schedules 3 dt since they have no confidence I will make it to 5 dt.

Well the last part is my feelings. My RE and I have planned on doing a 5dt, but clinic policy is that by day 2 6 embies need to be growing. I really feel as though if the lab had any belief that we could actually make it to 5dt, then they wouldn't schedule anything until the update tomorrow. I am already preparing myself for a fight. I WILL NOT go in for a 3dt. It didn't work the first time and I'm not taking the chances the second time. We are only transferring 2 embies and I really do not care if we have none to freeze. If this cycle doesn't work, then I am moving to a different clinic.

I just feel so beat down. Why can't this happen for us? Why is the doctor saying nothing is wrong when there is obviously sperm and/or egg issues? I will update you ladies tomorrow, right now I am going to cry in my gatorade.

Getting Excited

Well the time is ticking away until I can do a HPT. I'm excited, but not to the point of being antsy that I was last time - I found myself calculating the upcoming milestones and really just getting ahead of myself. This time, I've promised myself to take it one day at a time. Oddly enough, I feel a strange sense of calm and confidence; I hope it's not for nothing. Next weekend will be 28days from my last cycle, so I'll be checking in the early part of next week.

Ladies, I hope this 10th anniversary of 9/11 finds you all well and I hope we have a good week!

Trying something new

In my last post, I mentioned a medication by the name of Vitex. Since then, I have visited my local GNC store, and purchased a bottle. I took one today, for the first time, and feel fine... Therefore, tomorrow, I will be starting my first full day taking 3.

Because my knowledge on this supplement is limited, I started doing a little reading in reference to how Vitex works in correlation with PCOS. I found that, even though it may not be the only thing needed to assist women who are suffering infertility thanks to PCOS, it may be a piece of the larger puzzle. Check out this article I read:

http://www.trying-to-conceive.com/alternative-treatments/vitex-pcos-success/

I am still planning on making an appointment with the Fertility clinic to run tests and figure out a game plan for my crazy fertility... Buy I figured this wouldn't hurt!!! In the meantime, I'll keep reading up on it. I am also curious to know what Doctors say about this pill... I guess we'll just have to wait and see :)




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35/35!

Another milestone to add to the list of ones I never thought I'd see:

35 Weeks Along, 35 days to go!

Granted the 35 days left is approximate...but its still amazing to think that in about a month the little guy should be here.

Since it's been awhile since I've done a belly pic, here is one I did today.

It's Been An Interesting Week

It's been an interesting week.

On Tuesday, I went in for my 34 week appointment. My BP had crept up slightly again and I was suddenly tapped to be tested for pre-eclampsia. Unbeknownst to me, this included a 2 hour glucose tolerance test (GTT). Awesome. I'm 8 months pregnant, its noon, and you're telling me I need to hang out and wait to eat for two more hours. Of course I did it, but still.

On Wednesday evening, after office hours, I get the message that I'd apparently failed my GTT and had Gestational Diabetes. Not a total shocker given that I have three major things going for me that make me likely to develop GD: Strong family history (mom and grandfather have diabetes), I'm an older mom-to-be at almost 35, and I was overweight at the start of the pregnancy. Still, my head was kind of spinning being told the news. I had no idea what I was now 'allowed' to eat or how to manage this new issue. The doctors message indicated I should come by the office to get a prescription for the testing materials and such.

On Thursday morning, I swing by to get the prescription. That quick pit stop turned into a meeting with my doctor in which I made sure that she was aware that I was not fasting before I took that GTT test. I totally would've if I knew it was coming, but when I'm blindsided by a test mid-day...yeah, I'll have eaten. Turns out to be a good thing I told her that as that potentially voids out my results. I'm doing a do-over of the test early next week, at my next appointment. So yeah, in the scheme of less than 24 hours I thought I might have Pre-E, was diagnosed with GD, and then had that diagnosis rescinded.

Then, to top off an already eventful week, the power went out. Big time. Regional power outage. It was about 100* yesterday when it happened, too. Thank goodness the heat wave broke overnight and we only were without power for about 7 hours (some customers are still without). But still. Power out from Southern LA to Tijuana, Mexico and west to Yuma, Arizona...including ALL of San Diego. Wow.

(Image Credit: http://tinyurl.com/3wttmwo)

How far along: 34 weeks and 6 days. 35/35 is tomorrow!

Total weight change: Going by the doctors scale at my 34 week appointment on Tuesday, +26.

Maternity clothes: Always. I've pretty much moved into dresses at this point. It kills my hips to get pants on and off.

Stretch Marks: No new developments since last week.

Movement: I've got a wriggler in there.

Sleep: Pathetic this week. Being really pregnant and living in 100* heat with no central air has been a challenge.

Best Moment This Past Week: This evening when we were sitting on the couch, my husband got to see the little guy move. Mr CB hasn't seen him move before and, much to my dismay, hasn't tried to feel a movement yet. It meant a lot to me to see the look on his face that that's his little boy in there. Now if I can just get him to feel it...

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: The GD fiasco. Hoping to get some definitive resolution to that early next week.

Belly Button In or Out: Still an inny.

Cravings/Aversions: Nothing major.

Symptoms: More of the same. The Braxton Hicks are increasing in frequency and sometimes intensity and the little guy is sometimes putting pressure on my cervix. He's still not dropped yet though.

Back....Sort of

The shower went great, as did my vacation.  I came back to immediately jumping into the school year.  I'll post more about all of that (and other things like my possible GD) later.  Right now I just have to say that starting the school year?  It's KICKING. MY. BUTT. 

I'm a pro at this.  This is my 3rd "get ready for the school year," first day thing.  But OMG, I never anticipated how much harder it would be this time around.  Hanging posters killed my back.  I couldn't lift all the boxes to take back to my room.  And that ladder I use to hang posters?  Yeah, it looked a little scary. 

Thankfully, I had Mr. Teacher Bud come an help me one day, and a friend another.  However, stubborn me still insisted on climbing that ladder! And hanging that poster! And!  And! And!... yeah.  I paid for it later.  There is a spot in my back that spasmed for days. 

And then there was today - the 1st day of school.  Whew!  I am wiped.  I mean, I know I always am after the first day.  You generally don't have your butt hit the chair ever, because you have to circulate constantly to establish a presence.  And you talk all time as you go over the syllabus, rules, etc.  And the whole time you're trying to set the tone, so you have to be PEPPY! And PERKY!  And ENERGETIC!  Yeah, do that for 7 hours without rest and you're exhausted when you're not 30 weeks. 

Don't get me wrong, I LOVED seeing my students after the summer, I love them and missed them, and they make me smile.  But whew!  Excuse me while I pour myself into the couch (with my feet up!) to try to recuperate for tomorrow. 

I'll leave you with my 2 funniest pregnancy related student comments today. 

1. From a student passing in the hall - "You're still pregnant???"  Well let's do the math dear - I told you I was 3 months in May.... Yup.  Still pregnant.  
2. From a student who I had for 2 class periods near the end of the second, upon hearing me mention the small child bouncing on my bladder to another student who was whining that they couldn't wait 5 whole minutes to use the bathroom.  "Wait, you haven't had the baby yet??"  First - seem my response to comment 1.  Second - No, this is just a basket ball under my shirt.  Welcome to paying attention!!  

 I love them - I really do. 

Follie check #1

I was able to start stims last Friday. After four nights of 150 IU of gonal-f, I went into the clinic this morning for u/s and b/w. After a slight delay due to lost power and a few tears due to missing my one free period (damn hormones), the nurse told me I was off to a great start. I have quite a few smaller follicles on both sides and one to two that measure 10 mm to 11 mm. That was all the information I got. I am always so impressed by the ladies who ask for every little measurement and all the hormone levels. I always mean to ask, but I don't and my clinic does always volunteer them.

Because I am such a good responder, I got a prize today: an extra shot. In addition to 150 IU of gonal-f, I get to add cetrotide. Awesome! Add my acupuncture tomorrow and I will be lucky if I'm not leaking by the time I go in for my follow up on Thursday.

I forgot just how emotional I am on stimms. I really think my family believes I have cracked. I cried hysterical twice this weekend over silly little things. 1) Beyonce on the VMAs- really why can she have it all plus get pregnant 2)Children at family restaurants - I swear the guy at the table near us was propping his son up just to make sure he was right in my line of vision. 3) Missing my one free period today at work when really I wouldn't have done anything except chat with my friend. Can't wait to see what happens when I add more hormones and parents at Open House. Please oh please don't cry!

Getting desperate... :-/

We are officially on CD100. Yup! Not a single sign of AF since her last appearance in late May. And even though AF is not the best company to keep, I kind of need her to show up sometime. Anytime. Soon?

I am planning on calling the IF clinic, a former bud and friend recommended, this week... Maybe they will be able to help me :-/ this is just all so frustrating.

I was doing some research on natural remedies to make AF start, and read about a natural remedy called "Vitex". It is supposed to help regulate your hormones and many women with PCOS swear by it... Have any of you had any experience with this? I would be very interested to hear what your take on it is.

Meanwhile, I'll just keep waiting and see what happens with the IF Doctor.




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Unexpected

Okay, so it's been approximately 4 weeks since the m/c. It's seems much longer. Mr. CB decided that he was going to act upon his own free-will last night, (ahem) if you know what I mean. So in about 13-14 days I'll be letting you all know if it's a BFP or BFN. I don't seem to have any problem with getting pregnant; just staying pregnant. We'll see what happens this time around. I'm excited. Nervous. Anxious. But I'm going to try not to get too worked up. It seems that we had pretty good timing, though. "O" was just 2 days prior. As you ladies know, it's tough keep your faith up with repetitive disappointments.

I've decided to try taking a couple of OTC meds to see if they make any difference. This decision has in the making for a few weeks now...

1- Royal Jelly. It's supposed to help with fertility and egg health, in addition to just being good for you. 2- A baby aspirin (81mg). I've heard from several people who used to work in an OB/GYN and reportedly this was given to everyone woman who miscarried with positive results. 3- Geritol. I haven't made my mind up on this one yet. The older generations call it "baby in a bottle." Per the bottle (in comparison to my prenatal) it was more vitamin A (6100iu to 4000iu), vitamin C (57mg to 30mg), along with calcium, copper, manganese and potassium; plus a slew of other vitamins and minerals.

Has anyone heard of these therapies? Any success stories out there?

AF has arrived Earlier

So today AF arrived and it has only been 41 days!! What! That is good in that maybe my cycles will start to regulate instead of being 70+ days apart. Maybe just maybe my eating healthy is doing the trick in helping my hormones therefore my PCOS and hypothyroidism symptoms improve!! Not too bad I would say!!

30 Weeks

Belly Measurement/Weight: 30 centimeters (not inches!)/ -2lbs from last week.

Physical Progress: My belly button is definitely an outie. My daughter thinks it is because the baby's finger is poking it from the inside.

How I am feeling about my body: I have been feeling good about my body but now I am at the point where I just feel huge. When Mr. BB and I try to get intimate its awkward and frustrating. I think we are on hiatus until we try to kick-start labor around my due date.

Energy Level: I.Am.So.Tired! Like First tri tired.

Baby Movement: Still a lot of movement. Baby likes to kick both his/her feet into my bruised ribs. Baby also sticks their butt out a lot.

I had a follow up ultrasound yesterday and my fluid levels went up so no more extra monitoring! We could see that Baby B has hair which I was super excited about! He/she is still measuring in the 90% for weight. This makes me nervous for delivery! We also got to watch Baby blink and suck, so cute!

Next Month?!?!

Apologies in advance if this is a little disjointed. I got some news today that kind of has my mind reeling (see difficult moment of the week, below). I need to get this up today though as its my last day in the 33rd week...so here goes.

How far along: 33 weeks and 6 days. As of yesterday we can officially say the baby is expected NEXT MONTH!

Total weight change: Going by the doctors scale at my 32 week appointment today, +24. During the course of this week my appetite has picked up a bit. The baby books say he's packing on the pounds, so I'm hoping this is why.

Maternity clothes: Always. I've pretty much moved into dresses at this point. It kills my hips to get pants on and off.

Stretch Marks: No new developments since last week.

Movement: The boy seems to be into stretching lately. Often its the downward dog (push off my guts and stick his butt out), sometimes he's stretching out an arm or leg off to one side or the other. The latest trick he does is reaching his hand out and grabbing at my hip bone. Such a strange feeling to feel a tiny little hand trying to grab my pelvis.

Sleep: Honestly, I've been sleeping relatively well this week. Its like all my body wants to do is eat, sleep and pee...my husband jokes I'm just like the baby.

Best Moment This Past Week: Being able to say he's due next month. Mentally, its a good feeling.

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: Finding out that my husbands job may decide to send him to Japan. If he's tapped to go, he can't say no and he'll be gone for the delivery and at least Christmas. I'm keeping my fingers crossed he doesn't get tapped to go as he's my only support out here and I'm getting kind of far along to take a cross country road trip (would have to be a drive because the dog would need to go).

Belly Button In or Out: Still an inny.

Cravings/Aversions: Nothing major.

Symptoms: Overall the same as in past weeks. I've been very thankful this week to have less pelvic and back pain. Being 8 months pregnant isn't half bad when you aren't in lots of pain.